Let’s face it, dating in today’s time has drastically changed from what people would have been doing say, fifteen, twenty years ago. If a gal is at the grocery store or the gas station and a guy offers to pay for it all, generally (and this might just be my experience) she’ll look at him like he’s crazy, or insist on being independant and paying for herself. Which is fine, I completely support a woman wanting to flaunt her independance. But this use to be a common way people would meet (so I’ve heard). There’s also the work place. People use to meet all the time at work and hook up. But this has changed with how much of a movement there has been against sexual harassment in the work place. Not saying these are bad things, but it does cut down teh options of meeting someone. Sometimes I feel like the world we live in people have to walk around with signs on their chest say, “Hey! I’m single and I’m willing to date!” just to get noticed in that sense. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Also, bear in mind, I could be way off as a 22 year old nerd.
But as I was saying, we’re limited to three options to find someone: Through friends, at a bar, or over the internet. Friends seems like a good, stable way of doing it, unless your friends don’t know anyone of the opposite gender, or you are the last one of the group to be single. Option 2, the bar scene. Yeah, bar… well, bars probably aren’t the best place to meet a good boyfriend/girlfriend material so we go to option 3, the world wide web.
It’s a very interesting place to go, throwing all this personal info out there, hoping someone like you will grab onto it, then way will lead onto way, you exchange photos, and boom, you decide to meet. Ideally it looks like this:
You and that special someone are sitting there, enjoying each others company, and you start to think “hey, this isn’t so bad.” Suddenly, the mood changes, and that person across from you begins to change. You start noticing things like the discrepency between their profile and who they are as a person. In other words like this:
or this:
And you suddenly get that feeling in your gut to run the hell out of there. Good for you, that’s a survivor’s instinct. We can’t be rude, though. Well, that rude, because then the person begins to think it’s something wrong with them. So I composed a few hints on how to end the date quickly and not make things awkwardly rude. (This can also work as great “do not go there on a first meeting” tips) I’ll start with the fellas because if we’re going against the grain, men go first.
Avoid eye contact. This is a no brainer. The second she starts going batty on you, eye contact should end. It sends a subtle message that you aren’t interested anymore. If there’s a tv in the meeting place, it just became your new best friend. If there is a window, look out it. Or you could go with the classic scumbag move and just gaze lovingly at her chest. The last option is the riskiest because some girls might find that as a flattery… yeah, I know it sounds odd, but I’ve *cough* heard about it happening.
Interupt her. Notihng tells a woman “I’m just not that into you” as trampling over ever profound thought she feels the need to share with you. Taking turns is something you learned in kindergarden, time to unlearn it, my friend.
If all else fails, talk about how great your ex was. This one is low, but so is a girl sending you a picture that turns out to not be her. So bring up your ex, or make one up. Make her sound like a saint. She’d play video games and let you win at call of duty. All of your friends just loved her. You two were meant to be together, but you messed it up because you’re a compulsive sex addict. Work with it.
Now, ladies, it’s your turn. These two I’m sure you already know, but for those that don’t, these will get a guy who is into you for the wrong reasons off your back.
Talk about your possible future together. In a relationship, this is great, one of my favorite parts is making plans with that special someone while you’re cuddling in bed. But whiping it out on the first date is not only awkward, it can make a guy crap his pants if you do it right. Talk about how your eyes and his nose would look great on your future baby. Start making plans on what your wedding will look like. Ask for a prenumtual agreement.
Talk about your ex, or point out the buffest guy you see. Talk about how cute your ex was, or how insanely ripped he was. Or blow him out of porpotion in another way. The point is, make the guy you “miss” look better than Johnny douchebag there with his cap on sideways. Whether it’s money, sex, phyisical appearence, or all of those shallow things guys worry about.
There are a few more I could’ve said, but these are some of the main triggers to end things quick. The world is a scary place, and people aren’t always honest. Drop to their level and give’m hell.
Blog of the Henchman, Ray 